How God Restored a Broken Friendship After Betrayal
A Real Story of Forgiveness, Redemption, and Reconciliation Through God.
Introduction: The Power of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It's beautiful, yet also chaotic, humbling, and quite frightening, particularly when you're the one seeking forgiveness.
In this post, I will discuss my journey with forgiveness, how it transformed my life, and why it is one of the most challenging yet life-altering things you can experience. Keep reading if you’ve ever struggled with asking for forgiveness or forgiving others.
The Struggle of Needing Forgiveness
Let me just be real with you: I’ve been Jacob.
Yes, the Jacob from the Bible, known for lying, plotting, and taking his brother's birthright. That part of the story always made me a bit uncomfortable until I realised I have my version of it. I've hurt people I should have valued more. And truthfully, there are decisions I've made that I still pray about even now.
My Mistake
So, here’s how it all began: I started seeing a guy who had recently broken up with a girl in my church. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. We weren’t close, and I justified my actions by telling myself, “We weren’t that close anyway.” But the truth? I didn’t pause to think about how my actions would affect her. I was selfish, and I chased what I wanted without thinking twice about the consequences.
Although I decided to date him, I knew deep down it was a mistake. The guilt weighed heavily on me. It kept me awake at night, praying and asking God to fix everything. I was looking for peace, not more drama. I just wanted to be on good terms with her again. I missed the simple feeling of no tension when we shared a space.
How God Speaks Through Scripture
God started speaking to me through Scripture, specifically Genesis 32 and 33. I stumbled upon Jacob’s prayer where he cries out:
"Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him..." – Genesis 32:11
That hit deep, because I was praying the same thing: "Lord, please… let her forgive me. Let there be peace between us. Let her see me through love, not because I deserve it, but because she’s choosing to be gracious."
I knew I wasn’t entitled to her kindness, and if she chose to forgive me, it would be a gift. One, I had no right to demand.
The Pain of Selfishness and the Need for Change
Reflecting on my past, I realise my actions didn’t match God’s teachings about love. God instructs us to treat others the way we want to be treated, but my selfish desires overshadowed this. Focusing solely on what I wanted is risky. Self-centeredness, ambition, and self-righteousness create a trap. They obscure the impact my actions have on others.
The Cost of Selfish Choices
This situation made me think a lot. The decisions we make have impacts. They spread and influence real people with genuine feelings. And this has true effects. There's always a price to pay.
Like Jacob, I was more than just scared of the confrontation; I was worried about what would happen to our relationship. The awkward moments. The silence. Those negative feelings. The chilly distance where there was once warmth. I believe that was the toughest part, not only for Jacob but also for me. We worked together at the same church, met several times a week, and all of a sudden, everything changed.
Forgiveness Takes Time
But here's the part that floored me: just like Jacob feared the worst, only to be met with grace, I experienced the same thing. When Jacob finally saw Esau again, expecting anger and maybe even revenge, this happened:
"But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept." – Genesis 33:4
I experienced something like this. Forgiveness didn't come instantly; it was a journey that spanned years. We still attended the same church and encountered each other, which was uncomfortable. Gradually, we began talking again. It wasn't a sudden change, but rather a gradual process. I understood there was effort required both from me and from her.
Forgiveness Is A Process
We both had to wrestle with God in our own ways. Forgiveness takes time, and healing takes time, and that’s okay. I’m grateful that my sister in Christ spent her energy praying to forgive me and heal our relationship. Some people will hold grudges forever, but she chose to pray for peace, for freedom, just like I did.
When we finally had that moment of reconciliation? It wasn’t a big, dramatic scene. It was simple, just love, tears, and the kind of peace that comes from the work God had done in both of us.
The Power of God’s Restoration
To show you how much God turned our relationship around, let me tell you, God is in the business of transforming hearts. Over time, she even hosted me and the guy at her house with her husband. She invited me and him to be a part of her wedding. The world would expect us to hate each other forever, but God’s grace rewrote our story.
I lived with her a couple of years later, after our reconciliation. She helped me move into my new home, and I became her bridesmaid at her wedding. This wasn’t just reconciliation; this was divine restoration. It was a new beginning.
Act of Forgiveness
In a way, this was the first time I truly felt love. As 1 Peter 4:8 says, “Love covers a multitude of sins,” and I truly experienced this firsthand. Her forgiveness taught me what love is, it’s not just words, it’s an action. A decision to let go of the past and move forward with peace.
And here's the kicker: she didn’t just forgive me; she taught me how to love others, how to forgive others. Her example of grace and mercy showed me that forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook.
It's about mending relationships, overcoming pain, and emerging stronger than before.
The Kingdom of God is Upside Down
In today's world, there's a big emphasis on expecting apologies from others and forgiving them. We often feel others owe us an apology, and if we don't get it, we tend to hold grudges. Oh, how we love to hold a grudge. However, in the kingdom of God, things work differently. God encourages us to look at our faults first. He guides us to humbly seek forgiveness and make peace with others, helping us let go of our pride.
Apologising can be tough, especially when you're the one who needs to be forgiven. Saying "sorry" is often challenging. However, if you have faith in God, He will guide you to apologise. You might resist it initially, but ultimately, you'll find yourself doing it. God will compel you to face things you think you can't handle.
As Luke 7:47 says:
"Therefore, I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little."
When God has forgiven you much, it changes the way you love others.
The Power of True Love
The way she forgave me helped me to love her more and better. I cherished her and held her dear. The Bible says, "those who are forgiven little, love little, but those forgiven much, love more." This taught me to love her more profoundly than I ever thought possible.
God frequently turns our mistakes into important lessons, our hardships into powerful testimonies, and our hearts into sources of grace.
Conclusion: Keep Forgiving, Even When It Hurts
Forgiveness is one of the clearest pictures of God’s love. It isn't about what someone deserves; it's about opting for mercy instead of revenge, love instead of bitterness, and peace instead of punishment. Sometimes, forgiving feels like ripping out part of your pride. Sometimes, asking for forgiveness feels like stepping into fire, wondering if you’ll get burned.
But here’s what I’ve learned through all of this:
Keep loving. Keep forgiving. Seek Forgiveness. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.
Pray for the people you’ve hurt. Pray for the people who’ve hurt you. Ask God to restore what’s been broken.
Because He still does. He’s still the God of Jacob and Esau, who turns estranged brothers into reconciled family. The God who softens hearts, heals relationships, and brings people back together in ways we never could have imagined.
"If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you." – Matthew 6:14
Forgiveness taught me that God doesn’t just mend what’s broken; He rebuilds it.
And if He can do it for me? He can do it for you, too.
With Love,
Theophilia 🖤
