Transformative Joy: Fasting for Spiritual Growth

Uncover the spiritual benefits of fasting. Find joy and healing through our heartfelt exploration of fasting's transformative power.

Hi Tearers,

It’s one of those days when I finally sit down and try to put my thoughts into words. Honestly, I’m that person who wants to be a journaler, but rarely ever follows through. I start… then life happens.

I happen to be one of those people who record voice notes of conversations with myself or friends, with the intention of listening to them someday and piecing them all together. Well, today’s that day. I went back, listened to one of my old audios, and thought, “Okay, let me try and write this out properly.”

The thing is, I have a lot of voice notes, like folders full. Me singing, praying, rambling, and even prophetic words people have spoken over me. So, trying to find that one voice note I was looking for today? A full mission. But I found it. And now, I’m here trying to capture what I was trying to say at that moment in writing, finally.

I want to share something that's been on my heart, something I feel the Lord's been gently speaking to me about.

The Journey of Fasting and Seeking God's Presence

Last year was a deep one for me. I found myself fasting a lot, not out of routine, but because I was genuinely seeking God about some specific things. Each week, He’d put a topic on my heart like peace, rest, mercy, and grace... Simple but powerful things. I’d fast and pray over those, just leaning in, trying to hear what He was saying.

One theme that kept surfacing and surprised me was joy. Not the kind you pretend or show for others, but genuine, deep-down joy. Honestly, I didn't realise how much I was holding onto. I had a lot of sorrow, pain, and disappointment inside. I'd experienced failure, heartbreak, and loss, and I suppose I never really addressed it.

Looking back, I used to joke with people (kind of half-seriously) that I was a "dead man walking." Like, I was alive on the outside, but inside? I didn’t feel like I had much life in me at all. If I’m being real with you… I don’t think I’ve ever truly known what joy feels like. Not the deep, unshakable kind. I’ve never felt it in my heart or my bones. I’d see people dancing with joy, shouting and celebrating, and I just couldn’t relate. It felt foreign to me, like I was watching from the outside.

To be honest, I was kind of a pessimist. I’d always expect the worst and lean toward the negative. And on top of that, I’ve always been super emotional. Like, crying all the time. Seriously. If I’m celebrating? You bet I’m crying. If I’m praying? Tears, of course. Worshipping? Yep, more tears. That was just me. But, there came a point where I had to ask myself, "Why am I always crying?" I realised something wasn’t right. I’d try to spiritualize it and joke that I was like Jeremiah, the weeping prophet. But let’s be real: his tears had meaning! Mine? Not so much. Sometimes, I’d cry, and it felt like it wasn’t even real. Like I wasn’t processing anything, just stuck in my emotions.

I've noticed that when we see someone crying, we tend to assume they're going through something profound. However, it might just be due to feeling trapped in negativity, pessimism, and frequent mood changes.

It wasn’t holy. It was just... a mess.

Spiritual Fasting of Emotions

That's when I began to pray to God about my feelings. I noticed they were taking control of me. One moment, I felt high-spirited; the next, I was low. My emotions were unpredictable, and I recognised the need to manage them. I reminded myself that He rules over my emotions and can assist me in finding steadiness and peace, even amid emotional turmoil. The only thing I was certain of was my desire for joy. I kept praying, yet sorrow dominated my thoughts. Deep down, what I truly yearned for was joy and happiness. I believe they are intertwined; one can't be without the other. However, I was so burdened by everything that I couldn't feel joy or genuine happiness. It felt like I was carrying a weight that kept me stuck.

Prayer and Fasting Work

Anyway, since I started fasting, I’ve honestly felt joy in a way I never had before. Like, real joy. I can feel it in my eyes, they smile now. I feel it under my skin, this lightness, this warmth I didn’t even know I was missing. It’s like there’s a light inside me that finally got switched on. Before that? Man, I felt like I was wearing a mask all the time. Everything about me felt heavy: my mood, my energy, even my appearance. I looked dark, and I felt dark. It wasn’t just emotional; it showed up physically, too. My whole aura just felt… off. But now, it’s like the light is breaking through, little by little. And it’s beautiful.

The Power of God’s Word

It reminds me of that verse in Proverbs 12:25:

“Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.”

Whew. That one hit me deep. Like, for real. I was drowning in anxiety, stress, fear, and all kinds of worries, just trying to keep my head above water most days. No wonder joy felt so far away. Gladness? I couldn’t even imagine it. I was so consumed by all the negative thoughts and feelings that there wasn’t any space left to feel anything good. I was just… stuck. Heavy. Numb, even. That verse made me realise how badly I needed not just relief, but real healing.

Praise Through Tears and Dancing

As a worship leader, I always said I wanted to dance as David danced, you know, that wild, free kind of praise with no shame. But the truth is, I was more accustomed to worshipping through tears than through dancing. I’d gravitate toward songs that matched my emotional state, the ones that made me cry, because that’s where I found release. That was my way of connecting with God.

For a long time, I didn't notice that I wasn't using praise effectively. I'd see others dance freely, letting go and praising God with all their might, freeing themselves from burdens in the process. I admired that and desired it for myself. However, my form of expression had always been tears, those deep cries that I believed could touch God's heart. They deeply affected me as well.

There was something powerful in those moments crying out to Him, letting everything pour out through songs that cracked me open. It felt like that was the only way I knew how to worship authentically.

I'm coming to understand that there’s strength in dancing, in celebrating, and in raising a voice not rooted in pain, but in triumph.

That praise can fight battles just as much as my tears ever did.

One of the scriptures God spoke to my heart was Psalm 30:11-12:

“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!”

Reading that, I felt like God was reminding me of His beauty and goodness, that no matter how low I felt, He was right there with me. Even in my darkest moments, He’s with me. He collects every tear that falls. And even though I was in the middle of mourning, sorrow, grief, and pain, He was still able to turn things around.

Mourning and Rejoicing: Faith and Fasting

The unfortunate reality is that when you are overwhelmed with sorrow, pain, grief, worry, or anxiety, it is quite easy to focus entirely on yourself, your feelings, and what you are experiencing.

It’s like your whole world gets filtered through that lens, and before you know it, you’re not focused on God, you’re just stuck in your head. Your trust shifts from God to your circumstances, and that’s where things start to feel off.

But honestly, God is just so good. He promises that there’s joy waiting for us at the end of that dark tunnel. I’ve learned that tears and praise are both weapons; they’re part of what brings you through to deliverance. It’s like what Psalm 126:5-6 says:

“Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.”

Our tears hold meaning. Each tear I shed and every painful experience I went through had a purpose. God notices everything. He listens to the cries of His people and, incredibly, He gathers every tear that drops. It’s comforting to know that He is present not only in happy times but also in times of sadness.

Biblical Fasting: The Story of Esther - Turning Sorrow into Joy

When I think back to my mourning, my sorrow, my weeping, I honestly can’t even remember what was weighing me down. After living that way for so long, I didn’t even realise it was an issue. But now, looking back, I see how caught up I was in my own emotions and how little I was trusting God to turn it around.

When I recorded that audio, I was reading the book of Esther, and honestly, that story hit me in ways I wasn’t expecting. It’s wild how much it resonated with where I was at.

In the Book of Esther, the Jewish community was engulfed in mourning, fasting, crying, and lamenting due to a dreadful decree issued across all provinces, which stated that Haman planned to annihilate all the Jews in the kingdom. It was a time filled with desperation and fear, and as I read through it, I couldn’t shake the weight of their sorrow. It got me thinking: in the Bible, fasting always seems to go hand-in-hand with mourning. I felt a strong connection, almost as if God was revealing to me that He often uses our sadness and tears as a means to create something greater. It’s like He takes the heartache, the pain, and somehow turns it into joy.

Conclusion: Seasons of Joy Await

Even when I was fasting, I was holding on to the expectation that joy was coming and that things would turn around for me. The very next day, I was ready to experience joy, I was waiting for it. I kept thinking about Psalm 30:5, which says,

“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”

I held on to that promise like a lifeline. Joy had to be my portion. After everything I’d fasted and prayed for, I knew I was meant to walk in that joy, not just wait for it, but step into it.

By the end of the book of Esther, you see how powerful that time of fasting was. Esther’s fast, along with the fasting of all the Jews, brought the breakthrough.

The same enemy who devised their downfall, Haman, ended up being the one who was defeated instead of Mordecai or the Jews.

What struck me was how their sadness changed to happiness. All their mourning, crying, and wailing weren't in vain. Their prayers and fasting reached heaven, and God completely changed the situation. They were the ones who pulled through; they survived, while the enemy's schemes failed. It reminded me that there is great power in coming to God wholeheartedly, even in times of grief. He listens. He acts. He changes things.

Fasting Prayers

In Esther 8:16-17, the Bible says,

“The Jews had light and gladness, joy and honor. And in every province and city, where the king's command and decree came, the Jews had joy and gladness, a feast and a holiday.”

And that’s exactly why I say joy and gladness go hand in hand, you can’t have one without the other. Since I’ve been fasting, I’ve genuinely felt that joy, and there’s this light about me now. It’s like something has shifted.

What I’ve learned from all this is that you can bring anything to God in prayer, no matter how big or small. If something’s hurting you, you can pray it away. Whatever grief, sorrow, or pain you're carrying, take it to God, and He’ll help you. He’ll meet you right where you are.

In Esther 9, it discusses the Feast of Purim, an annual Jewish celebration that takes place on the fourteenth and fifteenth days of the month of Adar.

Why? Those days were a reminder of when God turned their sorrow into joy. Esther 9:21-22 says,

“To establish among them that they should celebrate yearly the fourteenth and fifteenth days of the month of Adar, as the days on which the Jews had rest from their enemies, as the month which was turned from sorrow to joy for them, and from mourning to a holiday; that they should make them days of feasting and joy, of sending presents to one another and gifts to the poor.”

Fasting Benefits

They fasted, and God turned their mourning into joy. And you know what? As I was fasting, He was doing the same thing for me, turning my days, my months, from sorrow into joy. I want to encourage you with this: you can have months of joy, too. The Lord can give you seasons of joy. After fasting, there are seasons of joy and times of celebration.

One scripture that encouraged me during my fast was Zechariah 8:18-19:

“Then the word of the Lord of hosts came to me, saying, ‘Thus says the Lord of hosts: The fast of the fourth month, the fast of the fifth, the fast of the seventh, and the fast of the tenth, shall be joy and gladness and cheerful feasts for the house of Judah.”

This is such a beautiful reminder that after a time of fasting, joy and celebration are waiting for us.

God wishes for us not only to pray and fast but to be filled with joy too. This is part of the reason He answers our prayers. He wants us to experience joy. After a period of fasting, you can anticipate a profound joy, not just simple happiness. It's joy that dwells in your heart and soul, rooted in the salvation He provides. This joy from the Lord is a source of strength for us.

We have something to look forward to in fasting, and it’s called joy. Isaiah 61:2-3 puts it so beautifully:

“To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”

God promises to give us the oil of joy for our mourning and to remove those heavy garments of sorrow and grief. Instead, He’ll clothe us with garments of praise. When God moves in our lives, everything changes, the heaviness lifts, and we step into a new season of joy and freedom.

Christian Fasting and Prayer Testimonies

So now, here I am not just writing, but testifying. This joy I’m feeling? It’s not fake. It’s not fleeting. It’s real. And it came through prayer, through fasting, through surrender, and God’s unrelenting faithfulness.

I don’t know what season you’re in right now. Maybe you’re still weeping, still carrying heavy things in your heart. Maybe you’re in the middle of your “Esther moment,” holding your breath, hoping for a turnaround. Or maybe you’re like I was, so used to the weight that you forgot what lightness feels like.

Wherever you are, I just want to remind you: Joy is coming. God doesn’t waste pain. He doesn’t ignore tears. He transforms them. And if He can turn my mourning into dancing, if He can give me joy in my bones and light in my eyes again, He can do the same for you.

Don’t stop seeking!

Music That Helped Me Heal: A Journey from Mourning to Dancing

In a time of deep sorrow, I found comfort in music that touched my soul, especially Jeremy Riddle's "Love on Fire".

The lyrics resonated with me as I navigated through grief and longing, especially these powerful lines:

“I put off all my heaviness, and I put on this garment of praise.

You turned my mourning into dancing,

And You turned my night into day.”

In those moments, I clung to the truth that God could transform my sorrow into joy. The song reminded me that even in the darkest seasons, there is a promise of healing and restoration. My mourning could turn into dancing, and my night would eventually turn into day.

Another song that touched me deeply during this time was “Restoration” by David Brymer. These lyrics were like a balm to my soul:

“You take my mourning and turn it into dancing.

You take my weeping and turn it into laughing.

You take my mourning and turn it into dancing.

You take my sadness and turn it into joy.”

Every time I heard this, it felt like a whisper from God reminding me that my grief wasn’t the final chapter. He was at work, turning my sadness into joy and restoring what had been broken.

These songs were more than just melodies; they were reminders of God’s faithfulness.

They supported me during my hardest times, showing me that grief isn't permanent and hope for healing is always there.

I’ve included Jeremy Riddle’s “Love on Fire” below for you to listen to. If you’re in a season of mourning, I hope these lyrics encourage you as they did me. No matter what you’re facing, remember: God is with you, turning mourning into dancing and joy.

With love,

Tears 🖤